Being honest with God is a funny concept to me. God already knows everything. He knows what we have done, what we have even thought, He literally knows everything. Yet I still hide my true feelings from God all of the time. I still try to pretend that everything is okay, to others, to myself, and even to God, when inside I’m broken and falling apart. Have you ever had a moment where you just stopped lying and pretending and got honest with God? I’ve had plenty of those moments in my life. Usually they occur once I reach a breaking point and I can’t pretend anymore.
There are several things in my life that have been a struggle for years. I still hide from my feelings regarding those issues at times. I feel like I’ve bugged my friends enough about those issues. I feel like I’ve bugged them enough asking for cheering up or encouraging words on the same topic over and over. I feel like I’ve bugged God enough on the subject as well. I’ve prayed to Him about these issues for over a decade.
I can thankfully say that God has worked with me a lot in these areas through all of that prayer, and that they are no longer a constant, day to day struggle I deal with. Things still happen that begin to beat me down though. I’ve gone to God over and over and over about this stuff, but the problem is that I usually wait too late. I’ve had moments where these hurtful emotions and feelings come up and I didn’t want to bother Him with the same problem again. I justify not talking to Him about it by saying that He’s already helped me so much. What more will He do? He’s given me an improved mindset in this area, He’s walked with me through this issue. Yet I still don’t want to talk to Him about it when I start feeling down again.
I hide from God far more often than I need to. All that does is increase and multiply the pain I need help with. I know it only makes things worse by holding it all in, yet I still do. On top of that, God already knows exactly how I feel, yet I still don’t talk to Him about it because I’ve “done that enough.”
Please allow me to tell you, go to God right away. It doesn’t matter what it is, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been dealing with a hurt, pain, struggle, addiction, or whatever the case may be. He won’t think any less of you for it, He will always love you the same. Plus He already knows all about it. So stop hiding from God, stop running from Him when He is the only one that can give you real help. Holding it all in isn’t going to protect you. You’re going to have to deal with the issue eventually. The longer you wait though, the worse it gets. Take it from someone who knows (yet still makes that mistake constantly).
God has given us so much, He has given us His Son. The least we can do is to go to Him and not pray generic, nice sounding prayers. Go to God, yell and scream about the things going on if that’s how you feel. Cry if the sadness is overwhelming. Shout praises when things are going well (or anytime really). The important thing is to just be honest with Him. If it matters to you, it matters to God…even if you’ve brought it up to him a thousand times.